How do I serve the True Guru? Can I do from home or do I have to go to Gurdwara?

These kind of questions have come and gone many times in my mind and there has always been this little doubt about if I have done enough to serve the True Guru?  Afterall, the life aim of a Sikh is to serve the True Guru, but how do we serve the True Guru?  Many other questions pop up:

1) Shouldn't I be going more to the Gurdwara and meet sat sangat?  I have only been occasionally going.  How can I be serving the Guru ji if I am just going on Sundays or some other days on occasional basis?  Even then I just go and sit and eat langar and come home without doing much seva.  Obviously that can not be considered as a serving the Guru. No chaur seva, no langar seva, no washing dishes, no cleaning or sweeping or picking up trash, no polish shoes of sadh sangat, no cleaning of bathrooms etc.  So how can I be really serving the True Guru Ji?   And, I know only Guru ji knows how much seva is enough and whose is doing the sincere seva. But these doubts and questions still exist.

2) So if I don't feel I have done enough to serve our Guru Ji in Gurdwara, then how do I get rid of this guilt of not serving and doing enough?

3) Is sat sangat is the only way to serve the Guru Ji?  I mean I have never done a kirtan in a sat-sangat.  I have only listened to kirtan in Gurdwara.  And, I have heard from Gurmukhs that Gurdwara is where the sat-sangat is.  What does that mean?  Does Guru Granth Sahib has to be present during that sat-sangat?  I think that would be ideal but just mere words of Guru Granth Sahib or just even the word "Satnam" or " Waheguru", even if one doesn't know or have the Guru Granth Sahib or pothy or Gutka with them, in a company of the holy shall be enough to make a true sat sangat.

4) Then how about serving the panth?  Can I really be serving the panth by just sitting at home and try to being a house holder, serving family.  Is that really serving true Guru Ji?  What have I done for the panth?  Did I do any reasearch on Sikhi?  no.  Did I do create a website or create a film or painting or art or anything to serve the panth and Guru ji? no.  So how can I be serving the Guru ji?Back to my dilema, I don't go to Gurdwara enough, I haven't done enough sat-sangat with other holy Gurmukhs, created any thing that could help the panth in anyways.  So what do I do?  Have I served Guru Ji?  Can one serve Guru Ji alone in their home or in a forest or in an ocean or mountain?

Well, as I was doing my sehaj path this morning on computer, and I think I got my answer as I read the following verse on page 26:

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ਘਰੁ ੧ सिरीरागु महला ३ घरु १ Sirīrāg mėhlā 3 gẖar 1 Siree Raag, Third Mehl, First House:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥ ੴ सतिगुर प्रसादि ॥ Ik▫oaʼnkār saṯgur parsāḏ. One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਹਉ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵੀ ਆਪਣਾ ਇਕ ਮਨਿ ਇਕ ਚਿਤਿ ਭਾਇ ॥ हउ सतिगुरु सेवी आपणा इक मनि इक चिति भाइ ॥ Ha▫o saṯgur sevī āpṇā ik man ik cẖiṯ bẖā▫e. I serve my True Guru with single-minded devotion, and lovingly focus my consciousness on Him.

ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਮਨ ਕਾਮਨਾ ਤੀਰਥੁ ਹੈ ਜਿਸ ਨੋ ਦੇਇ ਬੁਝਾਇ ॥ सतिगुरु मन कामना तीरथु है जिस नो देइ बुझाइ ॥ Saṯgur man kāmnā ṯirath hai jis no ḏe▫e bujẖā▫e. The True Guru is the mind's desire and the sacred shrine of pilgrimage, for those unto whom He has given this understanding.

ਮਨ ਚਿੰਦਿਆ ਵਰੁ ਪਾਵਣਾ ਜੋ ਇਛੈ ਸੋ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇ ॥ मन चिंदिआ वरु पावणा जो इछै सो फलु पाइ ॥ Man cẖinḏi▫ā var pāvṇā jo icẖẖai so fal pā▫e. The blessings of the wishes of the mind are obtained, and the fruits of one's desires.

ਨਾਉ ਧਿਆਈਐ ਨਾਉ ਮੰਗੀਐ ਨਾਮੇ ਸਹਜਿ ਸਮਾਇ ॥੧॥ नाउ धिआईऐ नाउ मंगीऐ नामे सहजि समाइ ॥१॥ Nā▫o ḏẖi▫ā▫ī▫ai nā▫o mangī▫ai nāme sahj samā▫e. ||1|| Meditate on the Name, worship the Name, and through the Name, you shall be absorbed in intuitive peace and poise. ||1||

ਮਨ ਮੇਰੇ ਹਰਿ ਰਸੁ ਚਾਖੁ ਤਿਖ ਜਾਇ ॥ मन मेरे हरि रसु चाखु तिख जाइ ॥ Man mere har ras cẖākẖ ṯikẖ jā▫e. O my mind, drink in the Sublime Essence of the Lord, and your thirst shall be quenched.

ਜਿਨੀ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਚਾਖਿਆ ਸਹਜੇ ਰਹੇ ਸਮਾਇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ जिनी गुरमुखि चाखिआ सहजे रहे समाइ ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥ Jinī gurmukẖ cẖākẖi▫ā sėhje rahe samā▫e. ||1|| rahā▫o. Those Gurmukhs who have tasted it remain intuitively absorbed in the Lord. ||1||Pause||

ਜਿਨੀ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਿਆ ਤਿਨੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਨਾਮੁ ਨਿਧਾਨੁ ॥ जिनी सतिगुरु सेविआ तिनी पाइआ नामु निधानु ॥ Jinī saṯgur sevi▫ā ṯinī pā▫i▫ā nām niḏẖān. Those who serve the True Guru obtain the Treasure of the Naam.

ਅੰਤਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਰਸੁ ਰਵਿ ਰਹਿਆ ਚੂਕਾ ਮਨਿ ਅਭਿਮਾਨੁ ॥ अंतरि हरि रसु रवि रहिआ चूका मनि अभिमानु ॥ Anṯar har ras rav rahi▫ā cẖūkā man abẖimān. Deep within, they are drenched with the Essence of the Lord, and the egotistical pride of the mind is subdued.

ਹਿਰਦੈ ਕਮਲੁ ਪ੍ਰਗਾਸਿਆ ਲਾਗਾ ਸਹਜਿ ਧਿਆਨੁ ॥ हिरदै कमलु प्रगासिआ लागा सहजि धिआनु ॥ Hirḏai kamal pargāsi▫ā lāgā sahj ḏẖi▫ān. The heart-lotus blossoms forth, and they intuitively center themselves in meditation.

ਮਨੁ ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਰਵਿ ਰਹਿਆ ਪਾਇਆ ਦਰਗਹਿ ਮਾਨੁ ॥੨॥ मनु निरमलु हरि रवि रहिआ पाइआ दरगहि मानु ॥२॥ Man nirmal har rav rahi▫ā pā▫i▫ā ḏargahi mān. ||2|| Their minds become pure, and they remain immersed in the Lord; they are honored in His Court. ||2||

ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਨਿ ਆਪਣਾ ਤੇ ਵਿਰਲੇ ਸੰਸਾਰਿ ॥ सतिगुरु सेवनि आपणा ते विरले संसारि ॥ Saṯgur sevan āpṇā ṯe virle sansār. Those who serve the True Guru in this world are very rare.

ਹਉਮੈ ਮਮਤਾ ਮਾਰਿ ਕੈ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਉਰ ਧਾਰਿ ॥ हउमै ममता मारि कै हरि राखिआ उर धारि ॥ Ha▫umai mamṯā mār kai har rākẖi▫ā ur ḏẖār. Those who keep the Lord enshrined in their hearts subdue egotism and possessiveness.

ਹਉ ਤਿਨ ਕੈ ਬਲਿਹਾਰਣੈ ਜਿਨਾ ਨਾਮੇ ਲਗਾ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥ हउ तिन कै बलिहारणै जिना नामे लगा पिआरु ॥ Ha▫o ṯin kai balihārṇai jinā nāme lagā pi▫ār. I am a sacrifice to those who are in love with the Naam.

ਸੇਈ ਸੁਖੀਏ ਚਹੁ ਜੁਗੀ ਜਿਨਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਅਖੁਟੁ ਅਪਾਰੁ ॥੩॥ सेई सुखीए चहु जुगी जिना नामु अखुटु अपारु ॥३॥ Se▫ī sukẖī▫e cẖahu jugī jinā nām akẖut apār. ||3|| Those who attain the Inexhaustible Name of the Infinite Lord remain happy throughout the four ages. ||3||

ਗੁਰ ਮਿਲਿਐ ਨਾਮੁ ਪਾਈਐ ਚੂਕੈ ਮੋਹ ਪਿਆਸ ॥ गुर मिलिऐ नामु पाईऐ चूकै मोह पिआस ॥ Gur mili▫ai nām pā▫ī▫ai cẖūkai moh pi▫ās. Meeting with the Guru, the Naam is obtained, and the thirst of emotional attachment departs.

ਹਰਿ ਸੇਤੀ ਮਨੁ ਰਵਿ ਰਹਿਆ ਘਰ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਉਦਾਸੁ ॥ हरि सेती मनु रवि रहिआ घर ही माहि उदासु ॥ Har seṯī man rav rahi▫ā gẖar hī māhi uḏās. When the mind is permeated with the Lord, one remains detached within the home of the heart.

ਜਿਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਕਾ ਸਾਦੁ ਆਇਆ ਹਉ ਤਿਨ ਬਲਿਹਾਰੈ ਜਾਸੁ ॥ जिना हरि का सादु आइआ हउ तिन बलिहारै जासु ॥ Jinā har kā sāḏ ā▫i▫ā ha▫o ṯin balihārai jās. I am a sacrifice to those who enjoy the Sublime Taste of the Lord.

ਨਾਨਕ ਨਦਰੀ ਪਾਈਐ ਸਚੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਗੁਣਤਾਸੁ ॥੪॥੧॥੩੪॥ नानक नदरी पाईऐ सचु नामु गुणतासु ॥४॥१॥३४॥ Nānak naḏrī pā▫ī▫ai sacẖ nām guṇṯās. ||4||1||34|| O Nanak, by His Glance of Grace, the True Name, the Treasure of Excellence, is obtained. ||4||1||34||

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ॥ सिरीरागु महला ३ ॥ Sirīrāg mėhlā 3. Siree Raag, Third Mehl:

ਬਹੁ ਭੇਖ ਕਰਿ ਭਰਮਾਈਐ ਮਨਿ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਕਪਟੁ ਕਮਾਇ ॥ बहु भेख करि भरमाईऐ मनि हिरदै कपटु कमाइ ॥ Baho bẖekẖ kar bẖarmā▫ī▫ai man hirḏai kapat kamā▫e. People wear all sorts of costumes and wander all around, but in their hearts and minds, they practice deception.

ਹਰਿ ਕਾ ਮਹਲੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਈ ਮਰਿ ਵਿਸਟਾ ਮਾਹਿ ਸਮਾਇ ॥੧॥ हरि का महलु न पावई मरि विसटा माहि समाइ ॥१॥ Har kā mahal na pāv▫ī mar vistā māhi samā▫e. ||1|| They do not attain the Mansion of the Lord's Presence, and after death, they sink into manure. ||1||

ਮਨ ਰੇ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਉਦਾਸੁ ॥ मन रे ग्रिह ही माहि उदासु ॥ Man re garih hī māhi uḏās. O mind, remain detached in the midst of your household.

ਸਚੁ ਸੰਜਮੁ ਕਰਣੀ ਸੋ ਕਰੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਇ ਪਰਗਾਸੁ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ सचु संजमु करणी सो करे गुरमुखि होइ परगासु ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥ Sacẖ sanjam karṇī so kare gurmukẖ ho▫e pargās. ||1|| rahā▫o. Practicing truth, self-discipline and good deeds, the Gurmukh is enlightened. ||1||Pause||

ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਮਨੁ ਜੀਤਿਆ ਗਤਿ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਘਰੈ ਮਹਿ ਪਾਇ ॥ गुर कै सबदि मनु जीतिआ गति मुकति घरै महि पाइ ॥ Gur kai sabaḏ man jīṯi▫ā gaṯ mukaṯ gẖarai mėh pā▫e. Through the Word of the Guru's Shabad, the mind is conquered, and one attains the State of Liberation in one's own home.

ਹਰਿ ਕਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਈਐ ਸਤਸੰਗਤਿ ਮੇਲਿ ਮਿਲਾਇ ॥੨॥ हरि का नामु धिआईऐ सतसंगति मेलि मिलाइ ॥२॥ Har kā nām ḏẖi▫ā▫ī▫ai saṯsangaṯ mel milā▫e. ||2|| So meditate on the Name of the Lord; join and merge with the Sat Sangat, the True Congregation. ||2||

ਜੇ ਲਖ ਇਸਤਰੀਆ ਭੋਗ ਕਰਹਿ ਨਵ ਖੰਡ ਰਾਜੁ ਕਮਾਹਿ ॥ जे लख इसतरीआ भोग करहि नव खंड राजु कमाहि ॥ Je lakẖ isṯarī▫ā bẖog karahi nav kẖand rāj kamāhi. You may enjoy the pleasures of hundreds of thousands of women, and rule the nine continents of the world.

ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਗੁਰ ਸੁਖੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਈ ਫਿਰਿ ਫਿਰਿ ਜੋਨੀ ਪਾਹਿ ॥੩॥ बिनु सतगुर सुखु न पावई फिरि फिरि जोनी पाहि ॥३॥ Bin saṯgur sukẖ na pāv▫ī fir fir jonī pāhi. ||3|| But without the True Guru, you will not find peace; you will be reincarnated over and over again. ||3||

ਹਰਿ ਹਾਰੁ ਕੰਠਿ ਜਿਨੀ ਪਹਿਰਿਆ ਗੁਰ ਚਰਣੀ ਚਿਤੁ ਲਾਇ ॥ हरि हारु कंठि जिनी पहिरिआ गुर चरणी चितु लाइ ॥ Har hār kanṯẖ jinī pahiri▫ā gur cẖarṇī cẖiṯ lā▫e. Those who wear the Necklace of the Lord around their necks, and focus their consciousness on the Guru's Feet -

ਤਿਨਾ ਪਿਛੈ ਰਿਧਿ ਸਿਧਿ ਫਿਰੈ ਓਨਾ ਤਿਲੁ ਨ ਤਮਾਇ ॥੪॥ तिना पिछै रिधि सिधि फिरै ओना तिलु न तमाइ ॥४॥ Ŧinā picẖẖai riḏẖ siḏẖ firai onā ṯil na ṯamā▫e. ||4|| wealth and supernatural spiritual powers follow them, but they do not care for such things at all. ||4||

ਜੋ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਵੈ ਸੋ ਥੀਐ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਕਰਣਾ ਜਾਇ ॥ जो प्रभ भावै सो थीऐ अवरु न करणा जाइ ॥ Jo parabẖ bẖāvai so thī▫ai avar na karṇā jā▫e. Whatever pleases God's Will comes to pass. Nothing else can be done.

ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਜੀਵੈ ਨਾਮੁ ਲੈ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਭਾਇ ॥੫॥੨॥੩੫॥ जनु नानकु जीवै नामु लै हरि देवहु सहजि सुभाइ ॥५॥२॥३५॥ Jan Nānak jīvai nām lai har ḏevhu sahj subẖā▫e. ||5||2||35|| Servant Nanak lives by chanting the Naam. O Lord, please give it to me, in Your Natural Way. ||5||2||35||

Why do I always feel like a failure in keeping up to Guru Ji ideals? What grade do I need to see his darbar?

I don't know how to start this post, but at times it is bothersome and feeling of not being able to "keep up" or stay in Chardi Kala or as others Gursikhs say "man dol janda".  Of course Gurbani helps, Sukhmani Sahib always brings peace. People say it is hard to be a soldier because it requires a discipline but I say it is even harder to acquire the discipline of a saint.  And, a combination of saint-soldier like that of a Khalsa is just a god like man.  Many questions come up as to how to reach that scale or stage.  Does dharmarai give grades like A+ or B- or F according to one's karma? As Gurbani teaches us "Karmi apo apni kay nedhe kay door" . Everyone wants to be near (nedhe) and not far (door). If A+ is the highest grade that would be given by Dharmraj then a Khalsa would be A+, i.e. Mahanpursh or Mahanpurkh or a Gurmukh or a Gursikh that would be a complete ideal human being that would get to see his darbar.  Then, who would be a B or C or D or F in that scale? I am sure people with other belief system are also judged that same way.  The names of God, his places, his praises, his insults, his saints, his devotees  are different but judgement is the same no matter what faith.  No one has monopoly on God or can claim that his/her path is the only way and the right way and rest of them are false, even though people do it all of the times; be it Muslim, Christians, Sikhs, Hindus, Athiests etc.  It is all karmic and good or bad actions are judged the same way, be it Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Christian, Buddhist and others.  So back to grades, where do I fit in so far in this life.  And why do I want that A+ and how do I get it?  I know the criteria and the guidelines to get it, but still many times laziness and forgetfullness takes over.  His name doesn't enter into mind, can't get up in the morning, excuses of busy life and so on. Nitnem doesn't happen, exercise doesn't happen, but just plain laziness and dullness and too many distractions of maya, seva doesn't happen, simran doesn't happen. May be a few minutes of "Thank you for keeping my day good Waheguru".  Is that good enough?  I don't know.  I am sure it is not good enough for an A+.   If this keeps happening, even C- will not happen in the finals when dharmrai calls and guess what?  Repeat class again or as Gurbani calls it, "Cycle of birth or death" or may be a probation or as they call it in India, a compartment in the class or subject which has been failed.  So who says, a saint's discipline is easier than a soldier's?  They are equally hard, especially for a lazy idiot like me.